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This post is all about ways to reduce the mental load in women.
Life can be heavy.
Life can be especially heavy if you are a woman.
Add mother, wife, working mother, dog mom, CEO, employee, etc. to the list and that can make juggling everything an even heftier task.
What is the Mental Load in Women?
Women carry a mental load that most men will never know.
Biologically, women are just more prone to the rumination and worry that comes with things like childrearing, home upkeep, and keeping up with their appearance (because lets be real, most women fear the physical changes that come with aging).
Mental load could technically be defined as the emotional effort required to manage a household, family, and work.
The weight of the mental load is often made up of planning, organizing, and anticipating needs to keep life running smoothly.
All of these…lets call them stressors, can weigh heavily in a woman’s mind, and make life feel harder than it needs to be.
Why Is It Important to Try to Reduce The Mental Load In Women?
As a woman, if the mental load gets too heavy and goes on for too long, it can lead to chronic debilitating stress, increased cortisol and various health issues, depression, anxiety, and the list goes on.
It’s so important to find ways to balance everything to make life easier, so you can truly enjoy life.
Read on for exactly how to reduce a woman’s mental load.
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How to Reduce Your Mental Load as a Woman
The below are all things I have either already done or am working on incorporating into my own life to lighten my own mental load.
1. Let Them
This one might be the hardest one, and it’s why I’m putting it first.
Just as taught in this book by Mel Robbins, “let them.”
Let people do want they want to do, when they want to do, where they want to do it, and how they want to do it.
Giving up the need to control and micromanage others is a weight lifted off your mental load if you can really learn to let those things go.
Along with this comes stopping trying to “help,” giving people constant reminders, and nagging/criticizing.
Not only will your life become a lot happier and lighter, but people will notice the positive shift in your energy.
2. Transition From Light to Dark
As a chronic minimalist who is a sucker for the clean white aesthetic, I fell trap to buying everything in light colors,
From rugs to couches, it really is a headache to keep up on – especially if you have dogs or kids.
Every stain or spot is obvious and you find yourself in a constant state of cleaning.
Do yourself a favor and begin transitioning to darker blankets, rugs, and couch fabrics and watch as the mental load of cleaning subsides a bit!
3. Simplify laundry
Doing one load of laundry each day or even every other day can be a great way to keep up on it.
Furthermore, I’ve recently started sorting my laundry by color AND type.
If you’re anything like me, part of the stress of doing laundry for me is the fear of ruining something due to color bleeds or fabric rubbing.
Once I began breaking down my laundry loads into smaller sizes and specific types (Example: sweaters and cardigans ONLY, jeans ONLY, dressy tops ONLY, socks underwear and pajamas ONLY, bathroom towels ONLY, really dirty cleaning rags and towels ONLY, and blankets sheets and duvet covers ONLY.
It takes alot of the mental load out of laundry. No pun intended.
4. Stay organized with email
Start checking your email frequently throughout the day and not letting them pile up.
Another great tip is to unsubscribe to emails as they come throughout the day from places you no longer want to receive emails from.
5. Pay off your credit cards monthly
If you’re using your credit card correctly, it should be used as a debit.
You should not be charging anything that you won’t be able to pay off within that months statement.
Reduce the mental load by always paying off your credit card in full every month of even consider making bimonthly payments so it’s not as large of an amount when you pay.
6. Never go to bed with a messy house
I live by this rule.
Although there are a few exceptions, I always try to do the basics before bed.
This includes vacuum/sweep the floor, do the dishes, wiping down the countertops, and putting things back in their place (random items on the counter, shoes laying around, dog/baby toys, etc.).
Just doing this can reduce the mental load immensely.
7. Delete social media apps
If I start to feel overstimulated, overly anxious, or overwhelmed, this is one of the things I do that really works to reduce my mental load quickly.
You don’t realize how much of your brain space is being taken up by comparison and content consumption.
By just deleting the social media apps that you find yourself mindlessly scrolling on (even if just for a few days) can work wonders for your mental state and capacity.
8. Move your body
This one is self explanatory.
Try to incorporate at least 15 minutes of physical exercise or movement every day.
9. Meal planning
Curb the looming mental fatigue you get from trying to figure out “what’s for dinner.”
I do this by laying out meat for the week ahead of time and always keeping my fridge stocked.
Have staple, weekly go-to meals and always have the ingredients on hand so you don’t have to think about what to eat.
Example:
- Mondays – Pizza & Salad
- Tuesdays – Chicken, Rice, Veggie
- Wednesdays – Taco Bowl
… and so on.
10. Stop buying things you don’t want to consume
This might be food items like pop, chips, alcohol, etc.
Making things less accessible inevitable prevents you from indulging in them.
11. Write everything down
Jot everything down you don’t want to forget as it comes to mind.
That way, once it’s on paper or in your Notes App, it doesn’t have to take up any space in your mind.
Ideas of some lists to always have on hand are:
- TO DO lists
- TO GET lists
- GOALS
- BUDGETS.
12. Utilize calendar for anything and everything
I recently started using Google Calendar to put things in that I WANT to do, that way it’s like it’s already planned (things like working out, washing my hair, getting groceries, etc.).
Research shows if you write it out you’re more likely to act on it.
13. Don’t spread yourself too thin
Instead of saying “yes” to everything, or people pleasing, start enforcing boundaries.
Some examples of this are:
If you feel like you need to rest, stay home.
If you don’t want to do something, don’t volunteer to do it.
14. Prioritize your self care
Self care is and always will be one of the best ways to reduce your mental load.
It’s a time where you to recenter, focus solely on yourself and your care, and doing what’s best for you.
Here are my favorite way to practice self care.
15. Stay caught up on tasks and to do lists
Even if you just pick one thing a day to tackle, you will still feel like you accomplished something.
Lingering tasks and to-do lists are a huge contributor to the mental load in women.
16. Have a waiting period for making impulse purchases.
When I spend less money on things I don’t need, I feel better mentally.
Part of maintaining this mentality is to not fall into the trap of impulsive buys.
If you feel the need to run out to Home Goods or TJ maxx, wait a day or 2 and see if you really still want to, then go for it.
A lot of the time we are purchasing something for the sake of getting something new (i.e. retail therapy with a dopamine hit).
Mental load maintenance can become easier when you learn to differentiate between actually wanting/needing something and just wanting to fill a void at that specific time.
17. Eat the same thing everyday
While this might not work for everyone, I pretty much eat the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch and I find it helpful.
For dinner I switch it up daily.
And no I don’t get sick of it and actually crave my same lunch daily!
18. Cancel your gym membership
I know this might be a little controversial, but if you’re someone who overthinks working out (like most women do) don’t over complicate exercise or your workouts, and don’t go to the gym just because your favorite influencer does it everyday.
Movement is movement and the best part is most types of exercise can be acheived for free.
For example, set a goal to do 10 pushups, 20 squats, and 30 sit ups. Then repeat 3 times! Change up the exercises as needed or wanted.
You don’t need to stress about what exercises you’re going to do once you get to the gym, how to use the equipment, or about people looking at your or judging you.
19. Pay for services you dread doing or have a tendency to put off doing
For me personally, doing my nails feels like such a chore. But I like having them look nicely manicured.
Therefore, I reduce the mental load by going and having them done every few weeks so that is something that I don’t have to worry about fitting into myself schedule.
If you don’t like washing/styling your hair, start going and getting a blowout weekly to lighten the load.
The same thing could apply to yard maintenance, etc.
I get it, sometimes its hard to justify paying for a service that you could do yourself,
BUT the time saving and stress it takes off of you to just outsource it can be worth it if you’re looking at the bigger picture.
20. Have your towels and bed sheets all the same color
This will ensure easy, mindless laundering if you don’t have to worry about sorting it.
21. Stop trying new products & buy what you know works
Break the cycle of buying new products only to find they don’t work as good as your tried and true product.
Reduce the mental load of decision fatigue and just go with what you know works well for you.
This applies to everything from body wash, face wash, lotion, cleansers, moisturizers, hair conditioner, hairspray, shampoo/conditioner, to makeup, etc!
22. Capsule wardrobe or copy Pinterest when getting ready
Okay let’s be real.
As a woman, putting together an outfit can be mentally fatiguing.
I have recently taken a lot of the guesswork out of it by researching my body type, figuring out what types of clothes look best on me, and adapting more of a signature/capsule wardrobe.
How to Find Your Style – 7 Tried & True Ways to Find Your Signature Fashion
Additionally, when I’m getting ready, I frequently reference my “Fashion” board on Pinterest and essentially copy an outfit I already know I like!
23. Turn off push notifications on most apps
Honestly, push notifications are so annoying.
If you’re anything like me, you can’t stand to have that little red pending bubble on your apps, so it forces you to open them to clear them.
Turn off the option for push notifications altogether on apps you don’t want to be bothered by.
You can do this on iPhone by going to:
Apps > choose the app you want to turn off > Notifications > toggle the green slider at the top to the off position.
24. Style hair once per week
As someone with natural thick curly/wavy hair that takes forever to do, life has been so much easier since I started doing this.
I do a good thorough deep cleanse on my hair weekly and take the time to style it completely.
This way, my hair is prepped and ready for the week and I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to wear my hair everyday.
If you’re interested in my weekly hair styling routine for thick/wavy hair or want to learn how to wash your hair once per week, be sure to check out these posts:
How to Train Hair to Wash Less – Even When You Workout
How to Style Thick Wavy Hair: Easy Weekly Styling Routine (For Sleek Hair)
25. Have a bill payment schedule
Pay bills on the same day every month and schedule it in your calendar.
26. Use ChatGPT and AI tools
Let’s face it, some tasks are just easier with the help of AI.
Chatgpt, Google Gemini, and other associated AI are great tools.
Use them for everything from providing answers to personal questions, to polishing your professional emails.
If you’re anti-AI or on the fence about using them, don’t knock it until you try it!
Warning – they’re a little addicting!
27. Have scheduled “off” days
Getting things done can be great, but in order to really relax mentally, you need to have the ability to switch “off” and rest too.
I have certain designated days or nights where I force myself to do nothing (or the bare minimum) guilt free.
The last two words are key. Hello couch rot movie marathon!
28. Throw away plants that you struggle to keep alive
Okay, this one is kind of funny and probably very niche as someone without children.
But, if I’m being honest, doing this did clear up some mental space for me haha!
I used to have a bunch of plants and all of them with differing needs, and it kinda stressed me out! Especially when I felt like I was doing everything right and they still were dying.
I threw out a few of the high maintenance plants and it was a great decision.
29. Be more lenient with routines
For me, I have specifically became more lax with what is recycle and what is trash.
I used to be such a stickler with my recycle routine, and all it did was stress me out and make cleaning up take longer.
I would recycle anything and everything I could, even if it meant cleaning out a jar for 20 minutes to get it prepped for the recycle bin.
Life got a little easier when I loosened up on my recycle rules, and starting throwing some things in the trash.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing when it comes to your routines and processes.
Make an effort and do what you can, but don’t stress yourself out about it!
30. Ask for help
This one might be pretty obvious, but it can be pretty difficult.
Especially for mothers.
But as a reminder, it’s okay to ask for help.
You don’t have to be superwoman and do it all!
31. Declutter
You’d be surprised how much decluttering physically can decrease the load mentally.
Once a month, make it a point to pick a drawer or room of your home to tackle and get rid of anything you haven’t used or worn in the last 6 months to a year. Chances are, you won’t be!
If you want more tips on adopting a minimalist lifestyle, be sure to check out this post.
How to Become a Minimalist – The Insanely EASY Guide to Declutter Your Life
32. Be intentional about pets
When it comes to pets, get one that fits your lifestyle.
This is a mental load that I think a lot of people overlook.
People get dog breeds that don’t fit their lifestyle, and then have to deal with behavioral issues because the dog isn’t getting it’s needs met.
Do your research before bringing a pet into your home, and you will be greatly reducing your stress in the long run.
33. Get comfortable with your own timeline
On a subconscious level, societal norms and pressures can really be a heavy weight for many people.
Your own wants and desires for life don’t have to match up with others, and they certainly don’t need to be on the same timeline.
One example of a common societal pressure is the idea that you should have kids or that if you do, it has to be by a certain age.
Release yourself from the burden of this way of thinking and your mental load will lessen as well.
34. Have a shopping list handy
Any time you go in any type of store, stick to your list, and cross off/delete items as you go. It makes things so much easier than aimlessly strolling the aisles!
35. Utilize apps that simplify life
Apps such as EverNote for note taking, LastPass for password management, and Freedom for blocking distracting apps are just a few ideas!
36. Have a cute water bottle handy and always keep it filled up
Because, well, there’s no need to add dehydration and getting your sips in to your list of stressors!
This 40 oz Stainless Steel Tumbler by Simple Modern is a great (slimmer) Stanley alternative that comes in a variety of fun colors and patterns.
37. Utilize cycle syncing and knowledge of chronotypes
Did you know that you’re more productive during the follicular phase of your cycle?
Do you know which chronotype you are (Lion, Bear, Wolf, or Dolphin) and how it can be used to maximize productivity when planning certain tasks and activities?
Take some time to learn about these in order to take advantage of peak times of day/month to be productive and schedule your monthly activities (all the way down to vacations, workouts, deadlines, etc. around it).
More Info on Chronotypes and Chronotype Quiz: Sleep Chronotype Quiz: What Is My Chronotype?
More Info on Cycle Syncing: How to Work with Your Period, Not Against It
38. Meal subscriptions
If you don’t know where to start in the kitchen or just simply don’t want to have to think about what’s for dinner whatsoever after work, start using meal subscriptions (such as HelloFresh) for weekdays.
39. Go through the fridge and cabinets weekly
This is another weekly maintenance task that will serve to make your life easier.
Do yourself a favor and dispose of anything that’s expired or food you know you won’t eat any more of.
There’s nothing more frustrating than beginning to cook something only to find out one of the key ingredients you thought you had is actually molded or expired.
40. Have alarms auto set
Setting daily alarms shouldn’t be something that takes up any space on your mind.
Ensure this by having your alarms auto-set for each day of the week so it’s one less thing you have to remember to do before bed.
41. Stop starting projects/taking on tasks you don’t really enjoy
This could be anything from furniture refinishing to diy projects.
This post was all about reducing the mental load in women.
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